It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
