I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
