My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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