I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
