id be glad to
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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