He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My bed smells like the plague
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
