pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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