I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize