so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
