On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
