I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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