You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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