I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize