Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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