I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
