the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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