think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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