A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
