I accidentally had phone sex last night
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
