I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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