I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
