I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize