never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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