Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
