why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My vagina just clenched in fear
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
