Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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