Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
