dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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