I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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