Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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