sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize