some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
