So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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