At least make sure they are 18
Why
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was like eating out sand paper
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
