I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
