break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
