im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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