So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
