So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
