YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
