yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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