i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize