tonight lets celebrate not being married
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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