Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
