Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize