The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
