Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
