Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize