and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
