Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
accomplished twins. life is a go
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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