So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
