We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
