I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
