I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
