I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
