that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
