I like to think it a success when the cops are called
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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