I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
