i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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